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Creatives Vs Conformists: Some people do find self worth by blending in.

April 29, 2013

Do you know what happens when everyone fights tirelessly to fit in? Bad stuff. If you don’t believe me–read a history book or something.

Yesterday, I saw a video of someone who used to be a friend of sorts. He was dancing in the middle of a jazz festival. No one else was dancing. It looked to be about the middle of the day, and it appeared that he had a plastic bag of some sort on his head.

I couldn’t tell really, if he was dancing as if no one was looking or if he was actually dancing to entertain the crowd like a jester.  No one was dancing, they were just filming him.

They were having fun vicariously through him. It was a ridiculous video, and it made me smile. I can’t really tell you why.

All of the really plain people need unique people for entertainment.  It’s a blessing and a curse, I suppose. I like being invited to parties and what not, and I do enjoy the perks that come with being loved. There is a backlash associated with all of that though. People need vivacious people to start the party, but the moment you overshadow them they turn on you.

No longer is the unique person the life of the party- Now they are malicious predators. The masses will buy this lie, and the shining star will teeter on the verge of being beloved and a detriment.

It really just hit me.  I started thinking about all of the people that I know that have problems with fitting into certain communities.

Last night I went out to S4, to be around some of the people that I call my closest friends. For the most part they are all true blue. There are a couple of people who relentlessly mock me. They love that I tell jokes and dance around, but there’s a secret kind of hatred that brews and bubbles over at moments when I feel like we’re all having a good time. We were in the Rose Room, everyone was dancing and enjoying the show, and during what I can only call a brief intermission period a drag queen decided to have a fat girl contest.  Two of the people in my group turned around and looked at me and asked me to go up on stage. Now, first of all, I’m not sure why I have to entertain these people by giving them the gift of laughter and then on top of this they insist that I humiliate myself on stage in front of people.  Second, I would never tell anyone in a group that I chose to spend my free time with to go on state for a fat dude contest. I usually don’t mention the topic of weight unless I’m drunk and self deprecating.  For two people to have the independent thought to say something so unnecessary baffles me. I’d truly be a fool if I continued to hang out with them.

I couldn’t wrap my mind around why they would say such rude things. I don’t really think I have much to be jealous of.

Here’s the realization. When I wake up in the morning, I’m me. I go about my day. I wear the things that I like, laugh when I find something funny.  I ruin dates because people think I’m too much. I don’t need to wear the appropriate clothing in order to feel like I have value.

Originally, my feelings were hurt, but now I really just have feelings of pity. Some people will spend their entire lives judging others. They will never experience the world through the eyes of someone creative. They will constantly have to worry about their weight and appearance and Banana Republic tanks in order to feel like they are accepted and loved. They will never understand the friends that need their help the most, because they are so engrossed in selfishness.

I spoke with two truly remarkable individuals last night, the antithesis of the two that I’ve been writing about. These guys are deeply saddened to live in such a shallow world of narcissism. They have so much to give, but what could I tell them. I can only commiserate with them. Tell them that somehow their lives have meaning. When you’re life is about helping others, you have to know that whether you see the results immediately or not, people’s lives are positively moved by beauty and service and kindness.

I love people watching, and I like making lighthearted jokes about people I don’t know. Realize that if you are always tearing down people in your own circle, you will end up alone.

Because plain conformist have such a problem with people who don’t belong, it oozes into their children. What will it be next? First it was division of class, then racism, now homophobia. The real problem is that people will small minds speak, and sometimes the empty wagon rattles so much that an innocent mind listens.

I’m enriched by conversation. I try to see from others’ perspectives. I’m looking from the perspective of a conformist’s bleak future and I understand why you try to tear me down. I don’t have a job and it sucks to be me. I do have people who love me and I do have a unique outlook.

I think I’d rather laugh and dance like an idiot in a crowd, then ever wake up thinking like some of you folks do.

 

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